I was having a thought...

...which is always dangerous, I know. But check it out:

I was reading a while back about Bob Bakker's (the "kk" isn't a typo) thoughts on guard animals. He posited that if you used a Kimodo dragon instead of a German shepherd as a guard animal for your house or yard, not only would intruders be generally obliterated, but the amount of food needed to sustain the animal (a large reptile) would by far pale in comparison to the amount needed to sustain a large mammal over the same fifteen year timespan.

This takes for granted that one could train dragons to be guard animals, and sure, Bakker is a reptile guy, but it reminded me a little of the old stories of Indian kings using cobras as guard animals, king cobras specifically. That always sounded kinda neat: an army of badass snakes guarding your palace...

Anyway, this leads me to the titular "thought" from above and a conversation I was having with Corrie, and helps frame a question.

If we're assuming that it would be possible to train Kimodo dragons and king cobras for this discussion's sake, then, why not assume we could train house-cats for the same purpose: guarding a house or property?

That's not the question I'm trying to pose, exactly. Let's assume you could. After watching Sargent Tibbs from 101 Dalmatians and, in a more direct vein, The Aristocats enough times recently, I got to thinking that cats could make pretty decent home defenders.

I asked Corrie during one viewing if she thought some cats were properly motivated and properly trained, did she think they could disarm or disable a home invader. She mulled it over before answering in the affirmative, which was my guess as well.

I know that a serious punch while wearing brass knuckles would mess a cat up, but what if four cats were determined to halt your progress upon arriving at a place, or inside a place? I love cats, and I play rough with them, and I've gotten them rather ornery during a play session, and sometimes that lead them to roll their ears back and start to chase me around the room. It was moments like that that are the foundation of my thinking.

So my actual question: How many house cats would be necessary to halt a pair of intruders if properly trained and motivated? Two? Six? Is this even a legitimate conversation?

Assault weapons being an equalizer and all, they may make swift work of dogs and dragons, so it would be silly to assume that cats should have to perform better under those circumstances.

This entire endeavor sounds way darker than I envisioned before I started writing it.

For the record let me reiterate: I love cats, I love dogs, I love raccoons, I love Kimodo dragons and king cobras, and generally enjoy all non-roach animals on this planet.