Wondercon 2016

The timing worked out in a bizarre fashion. As it does for many of our exploits...

I finished telling my mother that a trip to Phoenix during my spring break would be a little too much work. It was funny: she wasn't expecting us to come and I wasn't really prepared to go, but Corrie wasn't sure what the last word had been between us (my mom and me) and that I should figure it out. Anyway, it got figured out, and we stayed put.

It was that next day at work when someone asked me if I was going to go to Wondercon this year. Hmm, I thought. My eyebrows shifted up and I asked, "Uhh, what's Wondercon?" Wondercon is the name given to the ComicCon conglomerate's convention in Los Angeles. The conglomerate operates the world's largest pop-culture conference in San Diego, and the one here in LA is smaller (barely), and far easier to get to during spring break--thanks Blue Line! No driving necessary.

I went the Long Beach Comic Convention back in 2012, but that was mainly because I heard about it the day before, I was out of work, and I could walk over to it, living less than a mile away from the convention center. It was nerd-heavy.

This was something else entirely.

When I saw the dates (3/25 to 3/27, Friday to Sunday) and the location (the LA convention center--right off the Blue Line, our train here in LB) and the price of a single day ticket, a single Friday ticket since I wanted to hang out with Corrie on Saturday, I was almost sold. When I saw that a company I care about was releasing a special edition that you could only get at Wondercon, I was closer to the sale. I've never gotten any cool comics that were special editions available only at shows, mostly because I don't really go to these kinds of shows.

It was when I saw the Ralph Steadman-inspired special edition cover that I decided to go for Friday, get my special book, and close out spring break with a Wondercon Experience. Here's the cover that inspired me:

This book, issue number one of "The Adventures of Archer and Armstrong", is not a title I would generally read. I love the idea, and the execution, I just don't have the time and energy. This is a buddy title: Armstrong is a seven-thousand year-old immortal who's only interest is to get loaded and get laid, which sounds like some folks I know had they been immortal. Archer is teenager raised in a strict bible-thumping household, and wasn't exposed to pop-culture during his militaristic training to fight the devil incarnate. It's a strange team-up and the concept, like many from this company, I'm into, but I don't really have time and resources for the books themselves.

Anyway, the availability of this copy, and the experience of going to a comic convention was too much to pass up. I purchased a single-day, Friday only pass, and planned to catch the train to downtown LA.

The train was faster than I had planned, but I was later getting to it that I had planned, so that was mostly a wash. Upon arrival I followed the crowd around the plaza to get my badge. Having purchased the ticket meant you get a QR code printout, and you were supposed to bring this to the place and pick up the badge. The badge had a tapping technology so you could come and go with just a tap of your lanyard card. That was nice. The stream of people on their way to get their badges was thick but moving swiftly. We cruised into a large mustering room that eventually led to the badge pickup. Here's the room:

I guess they were expecting a ton of people for this line over this and the next two days, but on this day at this time it wan't necessary. I walked by slower walking folks to get to an open badge guy, and he got me my gear quickly.

From there--picking up the badge and booklet (that had maps and goings on), I tried to find the main exhibition hall. The maps sucked. I asked around, finally, and the lady told me the way: "Outside, turn left, and look for the building."

She should have said "look for the line," since it was already thousands of people long. It was twenty-to-noon by this time, and it sounded like noon was the time that the main exhibition was opening, and standing in the sun, surrounded by awesome geeks, felt longer than it transpired in reality.

The line grew and grew behind, and eventually started moving. Twenty-thousand people in line, and I was the nicest dressed person there.

I only mention it because it will come into play later. This was a comic-book convention, with the vast majority of people wearing at least some form of nerdy t-shirt, if not a full on costume, which was being worn by between five and ten percent of the people. I wore a pair of gray slacks with my all-black Chucks (which look dressy from a distance) and a nice polo shirt. I was a little out of place, unless I was standing with a panel of creators.

Also, with the vast amount of young people around, I went into Mr. Sherwood mode right away. So I was dressed relatively nice and walking around with authority.

Anyway, the line moved quickly and we made it inside the exhibition hall a few minutes before noon. I raced over to the Valiant booth and was likely the first person to buy the copy from above. And here I was nervous it would be gone. As the time passed, the exhibition hall filled up, with both customers and vendors. Here's a blurry shot from early on, before it got too crazy:

When should I mention the fine chocolate bar I took along with me? Now? Later? Anyway, I halved it and ate each half at different times, which added to the wonder of this year's Wondercon. For me, anyway.

After I picked up the copy I wanted, I meandered about for a while. Valiant was giving a talk at 1:30, and I wanted to check it out, and that gave me a while to explore.

At conferences, like this one and the LB Comic Con back in 2012, I realized I take the time to learn about other companies, super tiny companies living on the margin, for whom selling a book at this spot is far more meaningful than for others.

It was during this time---after getting the Valiant special copy and before their talk---that I found a few super-tiny publishers to support. The first was a collection of aboriginal-American artists, Native stories with Native themes...mostly I got this as a gift for a baby that is very important to me, that is as yet unborn. It will have native blood, and this was for it. The second thing I bought was from a trio of girls, the creators and publishers of a magic infused universe. This wasn't any book I would read on my own, ever, but I liked the idea of a tiny company made up of flirty girls, girls who live in LA, and may be amenable to coming to my work and giving a talk. See how that works?

Eventually I made it to my Valiant talk, which was touted as a way to get introduced to the stables of titles. It just so happened that everyone in the room was a die-hard fan. There just weren't that many of us:

I only read two comics regularly, and one of them is from this company. On the powerpoint projection display above is X-O Manowar, their flagship character. He's their sci-fi title: a Visigoth abducted by aliens, ends up with an alien suit of armor, breaks free and returns to Earth two thousand years after he left, everybody he knew is dead, and he's the most powerful human. Half the aliens chasing him think he's their savior, the other half are hunting him as a sacrilege. I like the idea, but I don't read it.

I read their espionage title, which is the most complex narrative in comic form I've ever seen.

Anyway, they talked about their titles for a while, and ended with a giveaway: Go to the booth and use the code-word "X-O Manowar", and you will get a Gold copy of a title. The tiny crowd let out an audible murmur. Gold issue? Free?

I've never gotten my hands on a gold copy of anything before, but now looked like the time. I applauded when it was appropriate, and got up, determined to make it to the booth and get that gold issue, I took off. I was afraid there would be a run on it, but as I returned to the stream of comic con denizens, I realized there would be so few people showing up to grab the gold copy that I'm sure I could get mine.

I did, stammering the password like a buzzed imbecile, but still...It was the regular cover to the Archer and Armstrong #1, but this time with gold accents. Here it is with the other A&A#1:

It was around here that I decided it would be okay to leave. The chocolate bar was running strong and I had a cup of coffee and decided to look at the schedule. There was going to be a Bob's Burgers panel at 4pm, which was in a while. I enjoy Bob's Burgers and see it as the spiritual successor to the Simpsons. I started to feel a kinship for the tens of thousands of nerds I  was surrounded by and figured I should do my part to be at this panel.

I found the room it was in, and, in the room next to it, when I looked more than an hour ahead of time, was a panel discussion about DC Comics and Hannah Barbera. I figured it would be a talk about the "Super Friends" cartoon.

It turned out to be about how DC Comics was updating and making new comics based on the Flintstones and Scooby Doo (et al). I had a seat near the front, and really enjoyed myself during the question and answer portion. The second person to ask questions was a walking stereotype: Asian, super-duper nerd, started his chance with, "So I have only two stupid questions..." He went on with a six minute soliloquy framed on the superiority of a TV show from the late 90s that they should be making comics about instead of the ones they chose. I think Jim Lee himself was there---he had no knowledge of this particular show and said as much. Awkward laughter before the dude goes on but doesn't get to question two before they gently forced him away.

The rest was similar fan love and fan-care-too-deeply-about. Once it finished, I headed to the can and then next door, to the show that on before the Bob's Burgers deal. There was a steady stream heading into this room that I caught the tail end of and created some separation from the crowd behind. The ushers were saying, "This is it, man, we gotta close that," but because of that separation, I sashayed in right as they said it but before they closed a huge door behind me.

The huge room was dark, save the stage with a standing moderator and four sitters. The people in ahead of me in line moments before dispersed to the right, deeper into the crowd. I followed the wall on the left, towards the stage. Far ahead, up near the front, on the aisle itself, was an open chair. I strolled right up to the front row, where the stage was almost too far to see clearly, but the video feed screen was dominating the landscape.

As I got closer, the person in the next seat over came into view. Long hair, feminine shape; blond hair, age unknown; wait...late twenties, and they were hard OR early forties and you keep fit. I sat and she smiled: long lashes and, yep: age.

There was a security guy a few feet from the seat. An older black man, he nodded as I sat, saying, "How do, how do..." I nodded back with a quiet, "Sir." The chick pulled out her phone.

I started to listen to the program, trying to figure out what it was. It seemed too much of a hassle at the time to try and pull out the booklet and search in the dark for the title. I just listened.

The panel consisted of four creatives types being asked questions by a horny nerd-chick who ran a popular web-site that sponsored many of the events this weekend. Two guys wrote for Scorpion, one wrote for Elementary, and the last was a showrunner for Limitless. At some point I was sure one of the Scorpion guys was staring at me, giving me the evil eye.

Did I sit next to his girl?

Staring at the screen in front of us I saw four heads: three staring straight ahead with three-quarter squints because of the lights and one staring off to his right, across the table and some where else. Check out some footage of comic-con panels and you'll see the same style footage: four people sitting at a table with mics in front squinting at the lights.

Only this guy was staring at me. I would look from the projection screen over to the stage, close by but off in the distance, and it appeared---every time I checked---that he was mugging me.

The questions ended, so did the show, and eventually the lights came up. I liked my seat and planned on staying there for the Bob's Burger deal. The girls next to me stood as the house lights came up. Production assistants and other show-biz back-stage folks came out the runway that turned out to be right next to my seat. The talent was heading back as the producers congealed to have a mini-meeting and touch base. The girls disappeared as I looked around.

RESERVED

That's what the cover said on the seat I was in. I looked down the row. Five RESERVE seats to my right. The entire row behind; the two tiny, fractional rows in front. All RESERVED.

A meeting was happening to my left, nearly in my lap. They all looked at me like, WTF? I didn't get up, I didn't say anything. I drank some water. They finished their shit and went backstage. I stayed put.

An announcement was made saying that there were passes at the door if you need to go to the bathroom, passes that you can use to return to the room, which was looking like it would be at capacity for the Bob's Burger panel.

This sounded good, but being by myself meant holding my spot would be more difficult. I decided to ask the security guy right there, "Sir, if I leave some stuff to go to the can, will it be okay right here?" He said, "Oh sure. No problem."

No problem. "Thank you, sir."

Being dressed nice worked out pretty well. Nobody bothered me and it seemed like I belonged. As the time passed, after I'd returned from the bathroom, I figured I'd answer any questions with, "Hey, I'm a Rookie of the Year and that guy told me to have a seat down here." No questions ever came.

As the time drew nearer, they asked the crowd to "raise your hand if you have an empty seat next to you." This put me in a strange position, seeing as how I knew nothing about the seats. But I raised my hand anyway.

A guy behind me called out, "Well, those seats are probably being saved for something, right?"

I turned and smiled at him. "Right? I dunno...." A guy with a head set on came over. "Raise you hand if you're next to open seats," he said into a mic.

I raised my hand again, having putting it down a moment before. "Even these seats?" the guy behind me asked, pointing to "my" seats.

"Even those," the guy said, as some high school kids came and sat down. Pretty sweet for them, I thought: barely get in the door, run around until the last second and get a front row seat. The guy behind was pissed, having been there from before I sat down during the last talk. His seat said RESERVED too. He shouldn't have been that pissed...

We got to see the voice talent of Louise, Tina, Linda, Teddy, and Gretchen. Linda, Bob's wife, is John Roberts' impression of his Bensonhurst-raised mother. Kristen Schaal plays Louise and Dan Mintz plays Tina, both with their regular voices.

A nugget of truth in that last sentence is that Dan Mintz, a dark haired man thirty-five years of age has a regular voice that is also the voice of Tina Belcher from "Bob's Burgers". The crowd went crazy hearing him say anything really. It got him flummoxed as well, that his voice caused such a reaction in the crowd. A grown man saying, "Well, uhh, it was mostly a group effort..." in a voice identical to that of a (beloved) teenage girl character...the crowd would go crazy, he would try to find something new to say...they would go crazy...on it went.

The majority of the questions went for Kristen Schaal. A fan-girl even had plush dolls she'd woven just for them, Schaal and Mintz, to which John Roberts (Linda) got rather irritated. These guys had more fun with, and used sharper tongues with, the questioners than the DC/Hannah Barbera group.

They showed clips to adoring fans and answered questions for longer than they talked. All in all it was pretty sweet.

Afterward I concluded that the I'd had the full Wondercon Experience and elected for the train ride back to Long Beach. All in all, it was a very cool Friday and a nice end to a nice Spring Break Week.

I got the special edition comic; I got the free super-edition comic; I saw the ultra nerd asking embarassing questions; I saw more Rey Skywalkers per capita than I was expecting; I saw the pop-TV-show cast of the day; and I got to support tiny random artistic ventures.

I even got a picture of someone levitating:

Here are some crowd shots to end it: