Nearly Jeffery Albertson

I've been visiting a local comic book store recently as my reentry into the medium continues. The other day something amusing and oddly familiar happened. By "amusing" I mean that uncomfortable mix of humor and awkward meanness that nerds perpetrate onto each other.

Raise you hand if you're familiar with "Jefferey Albertson?" A photo may help:

Jeff Albertson is the name of Springfield's Comic Book Guy. He is a sarcastic and generally mean spirited intellectual who runs the Android's Dungeon, Bart and Milhouse's favorite comic shop.

If we were to describe this fictional character's appearance, the most flattering way may be to say that he's "unfit."

The other day at the local comic shop, on my way out I spotted a stack of nice looking copies of a thick, trade-paperback styled publication. Slick and of high quality, my eyes found the key to this unfolding story in the upper left hand corner. Observe:

Do you see it? It says "FREE". Hmm, I thought, and picked it up. Thumbing through informs the reader that it is a catalog of sorts, with a discussion of the graphic novel history, DC Comics' place in that history, and then lists out essential reading for every main character, and even those who are gaining preeminence due to successful television launches (iZombie, Green Arrow, and Jesse Custer's Preacher among others).

I came to the front and told the girl behind the counter that I was gonna take this catalog deal, and asked if she needed to scan it for their records. She was incredulous at first. "It does say FREE right there, I mean..." I said with a shrug.

She turned back to the guy who I have recognized during my visits as the owner of the joint, an "unfit", sarcastic, generally mean spirited intellectual, and asked What're we doing with these?

This gentleman, who I must say has been nothing but respectful to me, visibly tensed his face muscles and with a tone of voice so sharp that it surprised me, said: "What does it say on there? On the cover? What's the price?" Just typing it deflates the anger and hostility in his tone. He wasn't yelling, but it was serious.

She was shrinking before my eyes. "Well, I just..."

"Maybe we just give 'em out? Right?"

I was like Slater from "Dazed and Confused" after he asks the kid if he's cool, and the kid says, Like how? and Slater replies: "Ohhhhh-kaaaay."

I'm sure the pressure of owning a comic shop is indeed high, as the rents increase and the margins reduce to razor thin, and, of course, I don't work there so I'm not privy to whether or not this young lady is competent, which could exacerbate the relationship between the two.

Anyway, I like my local shop, and recognize a stereotype for what it is: the occasional nugget of truth.

Also: Jeffery Albertson is your trivia fix for the day.